16 September, 2010 9/16/2010
Musing lazily on love; pondering you.I could write a million songs about the way you say my name
I could live a lifetime with you and do it all again
and like I can't force the sun to rise or hasten summer's start,
neither should i rush my way into your heart.
Love is waiting- Brooke Fraser
When its time to walk that way, I wanna walk it well;
21 May, 2010 5/21/2010
Its been a long time since I've posted.
Well, i guess after the hulabaloo of italy and choir concert, things have been just a mere routine to me. Plain and drab and yet so inevitable.
Many things I've fought, many things I've faced.
Sometimes i won, and sometimes I let myself down.
Things that I've learnt, and
indeed I've grown.
I really a larger portion of faith and love for my King.
Thinking back on friendships, there were so much that i've forsaken for the sake of others, and at what cost, I question.
...
After him I never really did confide in guys anymore. Part of me wants to break that barrier and thaw that frozen part of my heart, yet part of me's afraid that i'll get hurt again.
Hmm.
Sometimes during lessons my mind will just wander to songs sang in choir. This marriage, bare necessities, sohran bushi.
I really miss that time in Italy when we sang this marriage in the holding room when it rained. What I sang really spoke the depths of my heart, and i could even feel tears coming to my eyes as I sang and really meant the lyrics of the song.
Wish i could turn back time to that moment, and freeze it there forever.
And if tonight, ever makes a difference.The way that I feel- the way that I remember it.I'll take this down, till the glass remains,Swallow the words, that i was meant to say.Don't make sense, don't really matter though
03 April, 2010 4/03/2010
oh dio mio
I guess when the plane took off from Milan there was this longing in my heart to stay in Italy and in some way that brought sour tears to my eyes.
I want to stay in Italy, to eat gelato all day and grow fat on pasta for appetisers and chocolate mousse for dessert. I want to gawk at beautiful Italian men and women, and sing everyday in the room with (too) good acoustics in the hotel. I want to shiver in giuseppe and pick flowers to put in my hair.
But most of all, I want to be with the MJChoir, singing alongside with them , meaning everything that we sing and knowing that ultimately we'd enjoy the music we make.
That's what I want to do, and what I've taken back from this trip.
Other fonder memories would still dwell in my heart( and notebook), only to be released another time when things are different. Or perhaps in my LJ drabbles account.
Escapism suddenly becomes such a feasible idea.
This trip's somewhat like our swansong
XOXO, world
13 March, 2010 3/13/2010
I hear the Savior say,
"Thy strength indeed is small;
Child of weakness, watch and pray,
Find in Me thine all in all.
O Lord, against this bosom blast
of coiled and seething feelings.
Batt'ring passions, ebbing yearnings,
oozing ache of inner man,
Raise Thou the flinty walls of stuff of
which Thy Son was made.
Yea, build in me the buttressed
bastions of faith
That shall resist the undersucking flow
of soullish tide,
And make me to endure this late attack,
I pray, in Jesus' name,
-Jim Elliot
I cannot love you if i love not Him
15 February, 2010 2/15/2010
I couldn't (try not to) care lessIt doesn't really matter, does it?Back on my feet,
Unsteady breathing.
It felt as though a thousand splinters embedded-
yet slowly fading away, leaving me to be.
You pull back, I hurt for my own good.
No one's going to pull me out of this, save
God himself.
Constant mutterings about solace,
yet quenched by the knowledge of Someone
always there.
I need to hold on more,
listen more.
Loving you as a brother isn't going to be easy, i know.
and maybe its just one of those days again.
Instant win to you if you can guess what I'm feeling.
Because I don't know, myself.
Only thing I know is that- i couldn't (try not to) care less.
The red ground under me has morphed into a blue one.All i want to do is to sing, all my life.
16 January, 2010 1/16/2010
I don't want to think. I don't want to feel. Somehow there's this little part inside that screams that its my fault.I took the previous post away. Ah well.
Song of Songs 8:4- Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.
05 January, 2010 1/05/2010
i see you
THE MOVIE'S EPIC AWESOME. Going to watch it another time, in 3D, with two proper eyes with contacts in them. Can't wait!
